Buddy and Gary sit, quietly sipping on some new exotic coffee drink recommended to them by the barista, a young twenty-something, who goes by the name Four, as in the number.
Gary scratches his hind leg with his left paw, rapidly. Buddy watches him with a slight glance of the eyes.
“So right in the middle of the brief conversation, everything goes silent. ‘Hello. Hello,’ I say. Then, Buddy, I receive a text message from Gwen. Sometimes, it’s four or five texts in a row–140 characters, you know. It usually starts with an apology for not talking on the phone. She says it’s the cell phone, cancer thing. But she’s stopped using that one. Then she will send a picture of herself eating something like dessert, in a strange standing pose. Does this seem odd to you? I mean, face to face would be great, but I would even settle for a few minutes talking on the phone; two cans with string; anything. I really don’t think it’s so much to ask.”
“Nah, not too much. Maybe she has commubia.”
“Is that when a person can only communicate with a cell phone or pictures, but is fear-struck when real, face to face verbal communication takes place?”
“Yes it is, Gary; and, most of the communication is done by texting on the phone, not by talking on the phone. I’ve read that many have developed severe cases of commubia and, as of yet, they have found no simple remedy other than complete separation from the communication device. They even hold weekend clinics which set out to cure this modern, social malady. Success varies, depending on the individual, experts say. Is she young and restless? Is she one of the bruzias who spends constant hours on her device texting? Okay, Gary, does she have ADD?”
“Does she have ADD? Yes, but she has the other ADD. You know, it’s the close cousin to not being able to focus and concentrate. She has ADD+, where she doesn’t receive enough attention. Now that’s true Attention Deficit Disorder. But that doesn’t explain her inability to hold a conversation other than in text messages.
“If we only had a way to communicate with others without texting or speaking to them face to face, Buddy, that would be amazing!”
“We do, it’s called writing letters; and we gave that up decades ago, along with lobotomies, Corvairs, and panel wagons. Okay, let me explain something to you.”
to be continued…